i just found out that avelyn, lia, jasmine and all are taking part in csc tornament too!! and im playing doubles with tessa.. im really scared.. dunno wanna take part.. avelyn's gonna partner lia to play ddoubles!!! im not mentally prepared.. we may not be playing against them but there is a possiblility that we will.. i can bear to play against them.. its either they trash us or we trash them.. i dun wanna join the tornament now.. im really afraid ill freaking screw up and let everybody down, esp tessa... dun wanna do so but im having doubts.. dunno how to talk to tessa about this matter.. its weighing me down.. my spirits are dropping.. im too tired mentally.. too many problems within me.. im really not that joyful person u see on the outside.. and ppl are beginning to notice that.. that day my aunt asked me how come im not like before.. the bubbly, cheerful person i am.. i really dunno.. im just tired i guess.. so many problems.. and i really think that the balloon is becoming bigger and its on the verge of bursting.. i really am too tired to think of anything already.. dun wanna let them down.. to all the badminton girls who happen to read this: IM SO SORRY!!! IM REALLY AFRAID ILL LET U GUYS DOWN!!!
